Auschwitz

There are the, "I'd never go there" people and the "Why would you ever go there" people.  I fall into the "I have to see; I have to know" group.  This morning, a Kiwi who is going to Auschwitz this afternoon asked me if it is emotionally difficult.  There it is, isn't it?  That's why people don't want to go, I suppose.  

For me, knowing that its emotionally difficult is the obstacle and its not a big enough one to overcome the need to stand in that place and know that others, untold numbers of others, stood there before me.

Impressions:

The stairs in the Auschwitz I barracks (those buildings are brick) are too worn for the 100+/- that the buildings have been standing.  Either the stone is softer than it looks, or many too many feet have tread them.

The shoes, eyeglasses, brushes, and luggage made me sad. The hair pierced my heart.  It wasn't just the quantity, it was the reality.  No pictures allowed out of respect for the dead.

There are trees that have been planted in Auschwitz I.  Somehow that seems wrong,

In Auschwitz II-Birkenau, all that's left of the 300 wooden barracks are chimneys.  All around is green grass.

I have seen many pictures of the gate to Auschwitz II-Birkenau, but being inside it gave me a physical sensation akin to dread--deep dread.  Not the dread of having to do your taxes.  A dread so deep it makes you ill.  It passed, though the memory of it lingers even now, 16 hours later.

There are places in Auschwitz II-Birkenau where the stench of the marsh water is strong and sickening.

Near the remains of the Auschwitz II-Birkenau ovens, I though I could smell the remains of a fire.  Probably a suggested olfactory state.

Our guide, a local woman in her 30s was excellent.  Her tone was serious and respectful.  More so than I needed, but I could see how it worked on other members of our group.  She settled them down so that they were no longer on an exciting holiday outing, but bearing witness to...

Whenever I've heard about cattle cars, the picture in my head has been wrong.  The reality is smaller.

They had a prison within Auschwitz I.  Imagine, people could do things that more punishment than just being there.  I left a stone at the wall where they shot prisoners.

I left another stone at one of the ash ponds.  Ashes were dumped in the river and spread on fields as fertilizer.  "All this area is a memorial, a cemetery," our guide said.

A woman was there with her son and daughter who looked to be between 11 and 14.  They were not part of our group.  I first saw them in Auschwitz I posing for a photo next to a sign in the roll call yard.  She then posed her children in front of the Auschwitz I ovens.  It made me very sad to see such extreme tactlessness.  Remember my little rants about this habit in Paris?  There it was puzzling.  Here? What is this mother going to do with the picture?  Show it to her friends?  Put it in a book of holiday photos?  And what is she teaching her children about what happened in this horrible place?

I want to know how being a guide here has changed this woman.  I gave her my card and asked. Was I rude!  There was no time to lead up to it.  So, I asked and invited her to email if she wishes.

It'll take me a long while to sort out everything I saw and felt.

Na and I had a late dinner afterwards, followed by ice cream.  We needed a goodie.